


Streetwise Hercules

by tari_roo



Category: Superman Returns (2006)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-21
Updated: 2007-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tari_roo/pseuds/tari_roo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving Earth? Stupid. Letting Luthor escape? Idiotic. Not saying goodbye to Lois? Insane. Kryptonite trap? terminal stupidity. I survived but add a son to the mix and me trying to work things out with Lois? Who does Superman call when he’s in trouble?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Streetwise Hercules

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: this fic starts on New Krypton, with a slight AU adjustment before following the canon events of the film.

Stupidity is a terminal disease.

While being stupid might not get you killed, although there is a distinct possibility it can, its effects on your social life, career, success and future can be extremely fatal. Yes, people have been known to succeed in spite or because of their stupidity, but those people are usually gorgeous and rely on that rather than common sense.

One would not imagine the Man of Steel, Metropolis' Resident Superhero to be of the 'reliant on good looks' variety but it looks like I'm proving them wrong.

Lets just say that in the past few days, I have come to realise that 'intelligence' does not get my usual 'super' qualifier. Oh, no, definitely not. And there is ample recent evidence on that count. Leaving Earth for 5 years on a lonely impulse to see for myself what I always knew to be true, kinda stupid.

Leaving Earth and giving Lex Luthor the opportunity to escape justice, was 'just plain' stupid. Leaving Earth for 5 years and not saying goodbye to Lois, no matter how difficult, was extremely stupid. Coming back and expecting her to be ready and waiting for me, eager to leap into my arms and kiss away the memory of dead stars, was pure idiocy. The world's welcome aside, Clark Kent's homecoming was no more warm than Superman's. At least Jimmy was glad to see me.

Saving Lois and her family was a good idea, and flying off to stop whoever was messing around with Kryptonian technology (no points for guessing Lex Luthor) seemed like a good idea. Failing to realise that only Luthor could have stolen the crystals, and that a man like that always plans for any contingency, was idiocy bordering on terminal. Walking straight into his kryptonite trap (again) was terminally stupid.

From the moment I learnt of my heritage, I had this nagging feeling that I was living on borrowed time, on a whim of fate and luck. It was only Jor-El's foresight and love that spared me the fate of my people. For all intents and purposes, I should have died on Krypton. Earth has a 'saviour' only because of that blind chance, that I'd survive, the sole remnant of a dead race.

Visiting that dead world, as much as it was stupid, was eye opening to say the least. I may have belonged to Krypton and I should have died there, but I didn't. My place is with my 'people', the ones I can protect, keep from extinction. My father may failed to save his people, but his son will help save many lives. Perhaps I should have died with Krypton, as fate intended, but I am certain that Earth was, is, glad that I did not.

Or at least, so I hope.

I, through no skill of my own, survived the destruction of one people and now, my terminal stupidity is about to deprive another of their 'hero'. Lex Luthor means to kill me. Has done so ever since I first foiled his plans, and more especially since I sent him to jail.

'Look before you leap?'

Yes, my father did teach me that – not Jor-El, but Jonathan Kent. My human father was chock full of advice, ready with a quote, line, idiom, unique-to-Kansas saying, at the drop of a hat. You just had to open your mouth, ask why or how, and you'd get a well-prepared answer. Look before you leap had been at the top of the list then my 'leaping' reached epic portions and my landing on stuff became an issue. In my defence, I didn't leap this time. I flew. No one said anything about looking before you fly, although on second thought that is implied. See, terminal stupidity.

One would imagine that thinking at superspeed would be a bonus, would in fact actually allow you to make the right decisions faster and better, given that for you a spilt second decision, is still a pretty long one. Usually this is one of my advantages and my reactions can fit the situation, for example, trip over that carpet or not and will it result in me landing in that desk or on Bob and killing him? Everyone still thinks Clark Kent is a klutz, so I must be fairly good at it.

The downside, who would have thought, to superspeed thinking is simply that – you do it so fast it becomes second nature and you fail to take into consideration all the factors, because, surely you would have already, and wham – hasty decision. Human's make them all time, and usually being made aware of just how 'human' I am, is a pretty good thing. Just not right now.

SRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR

My landing on New Krypton, or as I like to refer to it 'The Surest Sign that Luthor is Insane' was far from my usual form. Sure I meant to arrive in as impressive a manner as possible, but usually just being able to fly is enough. As I made my rapid descent, a sudden ebb in my power caught me off guard and before I knew it, I was falling more than flying and so my landing was spectacular – fortunately. Left a nice crater.

I really should have been paying more attention.

Guess the idea of the crystals being in someone's (Luthor's) hands was a little distracting. It was peculiar to find myself on a somewhat familiar landscape, a living one rather than one layered in years of neglect and ruin. It didn't take long to find Luthor.

Something that really should have got my nerves a-tingling. It did. It was too late though.

Luthor looked good, for someone who had spent 5 years in jail, but I'm sure that he'd be able to crawl through a sewage pipe and still come out smelling like roses. The man is born opportunist with enough smarts to turn anything to his advantage. Lex Luthor was not surprised to see me.

Big 'ole warning sign in anyone's book.

We exchanged our usual banter, and as I climbed to meet him, a wave of nausea washed over me, ending almost as soon as it began. I knew that feeling anywhere, and figured Luthor had some kryptonite on him. The feeling grew the closer I came to him, but hell if he was going to see me sweat.

Pride. Another human failing I am not too sure I like having.

I haven't fallen down a set of stairs in years, not since I smashed through my folks' floor and fell into the basement. Nope, if I fall, I usually manage to catch myself before impact. No chance of that happening today. It was only when I landed with more force than should have been possible, that the full seriousness of the situation hit me. I really didn't need Luthor's 'Kryppppppppptonite!' to fill me in on the 'oh shit' situation. Just looking at the blood on my hands was enough. The ground was kryptonite, as were the walls rising above me, the every air I breathed was tainted with it.

Crystals and their properties aside, I was in serious trouble. A definite case for the consequences of failing to look before leaping. I regularly take a beating from any number of supervillains, Luthor included, but I usually just shrug it off, building, bridge, punch, bomb, whatever and come at them again, and win. Getting kicked in the ribs, sans-superstrength, is now bumped right up there with the worst. Giving up your powers and getting ploughed by a trucker is one thing, getting ploughed by four guys with kryptonite surrounding you, is quite another.

Luthor still seems have a grudge about the prison sentence, and I just barely managed to stop his foot from slamming into my face. Its no use though, someone grabs my head and I'm getting tossed into a wall. Beatings are never pleasant, particularly for the poor guy getting beat, and I have the luck of being the guy most crooks would love taking a crack at.

The combination of kryptonite and blows was making my head spin, and hurt a great deal of course, and all thought of trying to fight back fled and escape became my only goal. Escape from the gravity of kryptonite, the schemes of Luthor and my own stupidity. How close I came to the edge, to escape, I don't know. I didn't care that I was on my hands and knees, crawling. I had to get out. Sopping wet, hurting all over, someone grabbed me and jerked me to my knees with ease.

Luthor.

I have been accused of being an overgrown Boy Scout at times, but really, Lex Luthor deserves that non-deplume. He is always prepared. I was right, he did have kryptonite on him, and judging by how smoothly it sunk into my side, it was long and sharp. I hated to think how much he enjoyed hearing me scream but when he pushed it in further and broke it off, I really didn't care.

"Fly, now."

He let go, and without that support, I fell. My side was on fire, every inch of kryptonite searing its way through nerve and muscle. My first attempt at a water free breath was like pulling shards of glass through my insides. Trying to push the pain aside, I saw the edge of the cliff, a scant foot from me. Luthor and his men had backed off, watching their handiwork I guess, and as much as I wanted to just lay there and curl up in on myself, I knew I had to stand. Had to face Luthor.

Convincing my legs to work was hard, pushing up off exposed kryptonite was painful, but the movement of the kryptonite inside me as I stood, just about undid it all. Somehow, I stood, turned and faced them. Luthor, the picture of innocence, holding only a broken piece of kryptonite, smiled at me.

I staggered a little, and couldn't help notice the stiff wind from off the edge. Almost there. Luthor, however, seemed keen to add one final dig.

"Must be pretty hard trying to follow the likes you. I wonder how Richard takes it, if he even knows. Must do, half of Metropolis thinks of Lane as your bit on the side. Sharing a bed with Superman's cast-off, gotta take a real 'man' to swallow that. Looking at the living proof of your 'prowess' every day of his life."

He must have seen my confusion, because he laughed and particularly shouted, "Hell, Superman, I spent 5 minutes with the kid and I figured it out. Sure didn't like kryptonite, but then maybe it was just me he didn't like."

What?

"But the grand piano flattening Brutus kinda wrapped that one up. Tsk tsk, Superman. Knocking a girl up and leaving her to raise the kid alone. Good thing Richard was there, to step up and fill in."

The ground suddenly seemed very far away and as about as stable as jello. Jason? I shook the hair out of my eyes, sending a fresh wave of dizziness through my skull, but I finally got Luthor to stand still.

He looked smug. Very smug. Was I really that stunned?

"But don't worry about it, Superman. You soon won't care, and neither will they. I imagine they are still safely tucked up in my ship. And if its not at the bottom of the ocean yet, it soon will be."

It was then that my legs finally gave up the fight to keep me upright, and I was falling. It was a long, freefall and it felt damn good. I may still have a sliver of kryptonite stuck in my, but I was away from the rest and I knew that Lois and Jason were safe.

For now.

The impact of the seawater was shocking and for a brief moment, I thought I heard Jor-El speaking to me, before I sank beneath the waves. I struggled briefly to the surface, but the constant motion of legs and arms trying to keep afloat was near nigh impossible with every movement aggravating the kryptonite, sending sharp spears of pain right through me. Eventually, I just sank, too tired, too weak, too stupid.

It was almost peaceful, down there away from the waves and worry, and the failure, because New Krypton was still growing and I was slowing letting Luthor win. Oblivion eluded me, as the kryptonite continued to burn, deep inside, seeping its poison into the deepest, most vulnerable parts.

I felt the tug. It was slight, yet firm. Arms clutched around my chest, lifting my head and then the air was on my face again and the sound of sea and waves was breaking over me.

"Lois!"

I heard the cry, and the splash and the tug of other arms, stronger ones but it seemed as if it were a dream. And then we were flying, I knew it even though I wasn't the one flying. Free at last – flying.

The shard was almost as painful coming out, as going in, but its absence was felt immediately. The small interior of the plane was filled with a rush of sound as my hearing kicked in, and for a moment the light was too bright unitl my eyes adjusted.

It wasn't all gone. Not completely. I could feel it, buried inside, a sliver of glass, cutting, slicing against me. But I could ignore it. For now.

The rush of air from the door as Lois tossed the shard to a watery grave, drew everyones attention.

Richard. Jason.

His eyes were clear, unafraid as he studied me. Did he know? Had he guessed? As much as I wanted to stay, talk to him, talk to Lois, I had to get moving. Luthor was still out there, with Luthor Island and enough kryptonite to keep me down for millennia.

I had to go.

Lois explained and then argued. Her eyes were bright with fear, worry. I was the centre of attention. People usually stared at me – I guess I'm used to it. But not this. Richard. Jason. Lois.

Richard's face was a mixture of emotion, concern for his family, fear, determination, maybe hope. Jason simply stared, his eyes fixed on me. Lois. Lois was angry, scared. I was leaving her. Again.

There is so much lying unsaid between us. So much I had to undo, unmake so that only I know it. Five years of questions and anger for her. A few months of longing for me. We were worlds apart once, and then… as close as two bodies can be. Now a galaxy spawned the distance between us.

I had to go.

No choice this time. Need drove me. Duty called.

But maybe…

I can cross a galaxy far easier than most, so…

"Goodbye, Lois."


End file.
